No matter how and when you first meet, the first official date is (usually) a big moment. Much of the vibe and atmosphere is determined by how long you’ve known each other and whether you’ve spoken over the phone or something like that. No matter the situation, it’s safe to say that on a first date, you should avoid pretence and dress in a way that really shows your true self. Wear clothes that make you feel secure and confident. Don’t stray too far from what’s really you. However, a dash of something new can boost your mood and self-confidence. When you give a true picture of who you really are, you send an unmistakable message. Trying to play the role of someone you think you are (or wish you were) is a surefire path to a “crash and burn” scenario.

A few tips about the conversation: Even if you’re straightforward and honest, it might not be the best idea to start with a long monologue recounting your entire life story. Feel things out as you go, and above all, listen. Be sure there’s a “give and take” in your interaction with each other. If there’s a connection, it won’t take long for you both to feel it. No matter what happens, take it easy. Open up, laugh and have fun. Don’t play games. The person in front of you could prove to be anything from a fling to the love of your life. You’ll know which soon enough. For now, enjoy the moment.

THE BAR

Meeting over a drink at a nice spot is often a very good setup for a first date. A bar serves as neutral ground, and you can introduce someone else to your favourite watering hole while having the opportunity to sit down and talk to each other among other people. If things feel good, you can stay there for hours. If the vibe is off, it’s easy to wrap things up and go your separate ways.

THE RESTAURANT

If you’re going on a date at a restaurant, you might be meeting someone you’ve known for a while, or at least been talking to for a while. A restaurant date will be a bit more intimate than getting together over a drink. You will be ordering food, you will be relatively secluded at your own table, and you will have no one to talk to but each other. If things feel right, this can be an absolutely wonderful and unforgettable opportunity. If you aren’t quite sure about each other, or if you don’t “click”, a restaurant date can be a long, drawn-out torment. Our final tip is to only have your first date at a restaurant if you already know each other a bit before you meet for your first official date. There are no rules when it comes to who should pay or whether the two of you should split the bill. Let the vibe of the evening be your guide.

THE PARK

Meeting for a long walk can be a very easygoing and lovely first date. It may be an advantage to choose a place where you can keep walking on your own after parting ways. A stroll is the perfect starting point for making further plans together, such as a subsequent visit to the cinema or a restaurant if everything feels right. Dress for the initial activity, but with some foresight that the two of you might continue your date somewhere else afterwards. Comfortable walking shoes are essential.

MUSEUM

Going to a museum can give you the opportunity to share your passions and interests. You can recount something you’re really knowledgeable and passionate about. This can be a good way to break the ice and shake off some of the nervousness before your first official date. Again, no matter how passionate your interest is, be responsive and listen as well. A visit to the museum can also be a good starting point for further plans later in the day. As far as what to wear, a tone-on-tone pairing of a suede jacket and wool trousers and sneakers is a great starting point.